Friday, November 25, 2011

Happy Birthday to the Damned Dog

**What I'm about to say may actually piss a few of you off, so let's be clear about something please: I don't care.

I was raised in the country with farm animals and gardens and dirt and dogs. Glorious dogs, smart dogs, mutts from other farms, born from other smart dogs that would protect and defend the homestead and the children, dogs that sat next to you while you fished and ran next to you as you played. Dogs you cried over when they died.

I love dogs.

 I actually feel a certain affiliation with dogs for their loyalty and fierce devotion. And much like a mother for her pups, come near my kids and I'll do more than just growl at you, trust me.

Dogs should be protected from abuse; they should never be used for fighting or illegal sport; they should never be left in your hot car, your cold back yard, your abandoned house to fend for itself. A dog should never be kicked (that's what husbands are for....I'M KIDDING),  dropped off in the country (where some of our dogs came from when I was a child), or let loose to continually breed.

Every kid should come home from
school to find a puppy....
That said, my dog is not my child. A dog is not a human being and not a person and their rights are limited....they don't get a vote on what's for dinner and they don't sleep in our bed. I'm not going to build my future around the dog, the way I do around my kids. I don't buy them gifts at Christmas; I don't refer to them as members of the family--I'm not the dog's "Mom"....that's some other bitch. The bottom line: I don't treat the dog better than my kids; I know some people that do that and it infuriates me to a blinding rage.

Our dog came from a craiglist add that turned out to be posted by a puppy mill. We didn't know that when we saw her picture but after seeing what conditions she was living in ("in spite of" is more like it), we not only took her home, we reported the farm. No creature should be forced to live that way.

The dog came home with us. The dog had never worn a collar, never been on a leash, never been inside a car or a house, never had a dish of food for itself, never had toys, never been bathed, groomed or loved. It took a couple of days just to convince her to step out of her open crate and explore our little home. Poor puppy.

And then the dog got comfortable. The pro's: she guards the house and children, she helps the Dev's relax, and she hoovers the floor around the dinner table like a hair-covered shop vac. The con's? hair hair hair everywhere, half-gnawed rawhides on the stairs in the middle of the night, cold noses shoved under the covers in the middle of the night, hair hair hair, the inability to tell the difference between  someone knocking on the door and someone one in a movie knocking on a door....and, my personal space issue-she likes to lick my toes and it makes me a little crazy. In fact, as an introvert, I find the dog a little smothering in general--the worst being the week before I delivered the wee lad when she herded me from room to room all. day. and. all. night. And did I mention the hair????

"unbreakable squeaker" huh? 
Said dog, Silhouette or Sil, also just so happens to share the same birthday as Thing 2 so it became an issue as to wether or not we would "celebrate" with the dog. Why an issue? because while I'm all about finding fun things for the kids to experience, never in my life have I ever had a dog birthday party (let alone really know the exact day any of our dogs were born on, to be honest). I felt some kind of moral confusion to be honest...there are children out in our world that should be so lucky to be celebrated, why am I baking for a dog???

But in the end, the excitement of small children is a powerful motivator (could imagine if they organized and lobbied Congress?).  Thing 2 got yellow cake with flowers; the dog got cupcakes.

A couple of things about this recipe....first of all, no special ingredients--you will probably have all of these items in your house already. Secondly, you'll never have to worry if the kids try to eat them because you know what's in them and none of it is 'bad stuff.' Third, you can freeze these, just like muffins and pull them out as desired. This batch yields approximately 2 dozen standard size muffins.  Mini muffins are perfect for smaller dogs.

Preheat your oven to 325 and pull out two bowl.

In the larger bowl, blend together the following:

3 cups flour (I use a blend of whole wheat and ap)
1 tbs baking soda
3 cups of shredded carrots....the smaller the shred, the better

In a separate bowl, whisk together

3/4 cup of vegetable oil
1 cup of honey
3 eggs

Now add this to the dry ingredients and add

3/4 cup of peanut butter (don't use the "all-natural" type whenever you are baking unless it specifically says to by the way)

Blend all of this together and scoop into the muffins cups so they are about 3/4 full (they don't rise much).  The larger muffins take about 18 minutes, the smaller ones around 112-15. Allow to cool before serving to the pooch or freezing.

...and if it happens to be the silly beast's birthday, by all means, pipe a bit of peanut butter on top to let them know you are really glad they bark at people in the middle of the night, even if it's just at you holding a sleeping child....


Principalk said...

Ahhh, you're a softy. The dog is adorable, and you're a sweetheart!

ash said...

i'm making those for my "practice kids"!!! lol

Mother B said...

You are a hoot!