By Hook or By Crook

(...that title is funnier in this household).

It's not very often that I make something for this blog that I can't describe properly (or so I tell myself).

Once upon a time I was an English major with journalistic ideals and a strong belief that my future was paved with words....and then I dropped out of college...twice.

In the long run, I must work with my hands. I must do something that is tangible and physical. I'm so very very like my father, so very very German/Irish. And I'm too insecure to believe that any of my words have the power to change anything. I merely blog because it's too far to travel everyday to come over to your house (although I bet your coffee is better than mine).

My words are the best vehicle--most of the time-to convey what my hands are doing; though, not necessarily what my head is processing while I am doing it.

There are a million conversations I have had and must continue to have with myself if I am ever going to make any sense out of what is going on around me...if I am ever going to figure out how central a part I am to play in my own life.

*sigh*

...all this for a damn potscrubber.

I don't know exactly how to describe or explain how to crochet. Seriously. I just play around with the yarn until I come up with something useful....or tear it all out until I do. Last winter, we all go snowed in (by a massive 2 inches of snow--how did we survive???)....the entire family came away with hats for the ordeal.

I like the idea of crocheting. And then I open up a book on it, with it's cute, even afgan on the cover, and I am instantly transported back to elementary school piano lessons, with the notes like blobs taunting me from the sheet music. The teacher finally gave up in disgust, stating I was too stupid for piano. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps it is also my stupidity that leaves me mid-panic attack at a diagram for potholders.

Because isn't this something real women can do? Baby blankets and pot holders and slippers for the kiddies? ohmigod where's the lexapro?

But I find if I put on some West Wing or Underworld and just hook loops until something forms in my hands, I am able to make something from a ball of yarn. And-technically- it's crocheting.

Tonight, I made pot scrubbers. And I like them...a lot.

I won't be able to tell you if its single or double or whatever terms go into this. I can tell you that you'll need a double layer so the scrubber is thick enough to be practical. And I can tell you to make it to fit your hand but not so big that it would double as a trivet.

That's all I can tell you. Really.